I’m pretty grossed out about the notion that Rihanna is collaborating with Chris Brown again. I don’t really have any particular investment in her as a person and only occasionally care about her music, but in terms of cultural narrative, I think she is sending a poisonous and tremendously irresponsible message to her audience. The idea of “role models” can be very corny, but this narrative between Rihanna and Brown has become a huge part of how an entire generation of Americans are thinking about domestic violence, so I think it’s worth taking very seriously.
My friend Eric Harvey tweeted earlier, asking “What if Rihanna is sick of having to be the abuse victim again, and wants to regain control of her own public image?,” and while I get his argument about her possibly attempting to do just that, it seems far more likely that this is mainly driven by cynicism, because it’s a combination of top-selling artists that will inevitably demand a lot of attention.
Even if she’s doing this because she’s forgiven Brown and wants to flip the script on her public persona, I’m inclined to think that is a very selfish thing on her part in light of how it will likely be interpreted by her fans with regards to domestic violence. I think this encourages young women to be more forgiving and lenient with men who abuse them, and gives license to young men to be violent assholes because it seems like there are no consequences. People have a habit of seeing themselves as playing out roles in these sort of narratives, and if Rihanna decides to make this behavior okay, it just becomes one more way for people to rationalize hateful behavior. It may not be Rihanna’s job to be a “role model,” but it’s not unreasonable to expect people to make responsible decisions and consider their impact on the world around them.I understand the intent here, but there is so much about this that is unreasonable. What I really take issue with are these two thoughts:
“I’m inclined to think that is a very selfish thing”
“It may not be Rihanna’s job to be a ‘role model,’ but”
Of course it is a very selfish thing. It’s her life! I’m pretty selfish about my life, aren’t you? Before this is anything else, this is her life. I think it’s unfair that she suffered from physical abuse from her boyfriend and now she’s criticized for not being the right kind of role model for it. She didn’t ask to be the spokesperson for domestic abuse and yet since it occurred that’s exactly what she’s been, and it strikes me as fucked up that people are getting upset that maybe she doesn’t want this role, or that she’s not doing her duty as a victim to be vocal about it. Sorry, there is nothing Rihanna owes anyone in this situation, least of all the public. This is her issue. This was forced upon her. She can do whatever the fuck she likes.
It’s not like we get furious that Madonna isn’t on a soapbox for domestic violence, and Sean Penn tied her to a chair and beat her with a baseball bat. That’s just the example that comes to mind because I loathe Sean Penn for winning undeserved Oscars, but there are plenty of other, more recent celebrity abusers and abuse victims to cite. Why Rihanna?
If Rihanna has forgiven Chris Brown, or is even back together with him, that’s not my fucking business. Do I, someone who does not know her, but someone who regularly gleans information from gossip websites, think it’s a mistake? Yes, because Chris Brown has proven in the last few years that he doesn’t regret any of it, doesn’t feel particularly guilty about it, and doesn’t realize he’s just generally an asshole. But it’s not my call.
I can’t deny that Rihanna is sending a message by having anything to do with Chris Brown, but ultimately, Rihanna is not an ambassador for this issue, and it’s the media that has forced her into this. If we want the narrative to change, it’s not like it’s going to because of one celebrity’s actions. There’s a lot more everyone could be doing to change the narrative and to expect it to fall onto one woman’s shoulders is unreasonable, unfair, and unrealistic.
Agreed. Yeah, Chris Brown is an asshole. Yeah, Rihanna is probably making a very stupid mistake if she’s back with him. But I think people forget that peoples’ relationships aren’t an American Idol contest—you can’t just text in and expect what you want to happen to actually happen and be pissed off when it doesn’t. That’s what fanfics are for.
